I know the feeling

I know how it feels when it creeps in

Restless. Figuring out. Wanting. Needing. Unhappy. Always looking elsewhere. Strain. Pressure. Tension. Noise.

No rest. Always doing. Always going. Can’t stop. Doesn’t stop. The feeling, if only. Thinking. Figuring out. Thinking. Thinking. Needing to solve. Thinking. Needing to think. Scheming. Planning. Asking, what if. Thinking. Solving. Trying to solve. Trying out ideas. Thinking. Motion. Hard to stop. Hard to quit.

Like a frantic pendulum. In motion and tending to stay in motion. Like an electron, buzzing.

Need rest. Need reset. Need to come down. Need to shut down. Need to slow down. Need to withdraw to let myself slow down slowly, naturally, over the course of a long rest. Like a day or two. An evening. Slow the pattern. The pattern can’t halt. Only the speed can change, but the speed can only change slowly. Bit by bit, getting slower. Bit by bit, returning to stable equilibrium. An equilibrium of waves. Up and down, natural rhythms. In and out. On and off.