Regarding hooking up, sex, clubs, dating apps, etc.
It’s dopamine, and it lies. I want a companion, someone who fits me. Someone who’s right. All this late night stuff is way more about the rush of getting something, the dopamine high, but it’s not as much about me finding the right person. Sure, I could find someone. But. The feeling when I’m pursuing/getting it is not conducive to figuring out who I am to be with.
As an aside, I think sex is a good motivator for us to go out and find someone.