To be recognized
To have others admire you and your talent
Just more dopamine lies
Just pride, ego
Fantasizing about being interviewed about my journey, about myself
Getting attention
The flip side is the whole making money from passions
Being able to pursue them full time
Maybe its better to not have that now
While I’m still kindling these projects
I like that they’re not in the spotlight
I can do whatever I want with them
Total freedom, even if not total time
Plus, if I were pursuing art full time I’d still want some food for the brain
If I were pursuing science full time I’d still need art
Breaks, cycles, waves, in and out, push and pull
Doesn’t matter how much time
These things live in my head all day
To have them at all is enough
To practice them at all is enough
To have enough mental energy for them is a necessity
Fame is a distraction
Making stuff I’m happy with is everything
To expect nothing from them is bliss
To expect nothing from myself is happiness