I can’t do it anymore. If I ever do anything real, let me release it into the world free of charge. May my life be free and easy. I’ll leave the wealth to the wealthy, to the successful. I’m happier when I let go.

Fucking nvidia. Rich fucks. Fucking OpenAI. Fucking googlers and big tech and Amazon and consultants and all that fuck.

Let me be light on my feet. Let me not hold onto all the shit of the world. I wonder, if that’s the only way I can finish what I want to finish. As if the problem is too hard to achieve if I’m weighed down by ambition greed desire dreams goals. I’ve been convinced for some time now that it’s a matter of discovery, not invention, because of course there’s a correct way of doing it. It’s as if in order to discover the thing, I need to be tapped into the source of the thing, which requires I let go of the anti-thing, because it’s either-or.

I’ll build a house. I’ll live somewhere. I’ll find a spouse. Or not. If someone vibes with me I can be with them. I’ll worry about that stuff when it comes to it.

Honestly, not even that. I’ll just be me. I am me. I don’t really need any of the rest. All of that, who knows. Nice to have. Don’t need to force it. Confused mimesis.